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First, a question: dear lazyweb, how do I completely disable non-SSL access with lighttpd? I can't seem to find how to have a lighttpd SSL-only configuration. (and only binding port 80 on localhost does not count for an answer)

On to the subject. While it's easy to add SSL to lighttpd and enable PHP (through fastcgi) — and Debian makes it even easier with it's lighty-enable-mod tool — if you only do it once in a blue moon then it's not exactly resident knowledge. So here are the steps to do it, on Debian Etch:

1. apt-get the lighttpd, php4-cgi or php5-cgi, and openssl packages
2. lighty-enable-mod fastcgi
3. if using php5, update the path to the cgi binary in /etc/lighttpd/conf-available/10-fastcgi.conf (it's preconfigured for php4)
4. lighty-enable-mod ssl
5. update the path to the SSL certificate in /etc/lighttpd/conf-available/10-ssl.conf
6. restart the lighttpd server

That's all there is to it. Well, strictly speaking there's a step 4a: install a certificate; but that's arguably not a part of the configuration process.
(for reference: openssl req -new -x509 -keyout /etc/lighttpd/selfcert.pem -out /etc/lighttpd/selfcert.pem -days 365 -nodes will generate a self-signed certificate)